oh you shouldn’t have!

Now that the Christmas season is over, let’s just be honest about the feelings towards the gifts we received. Do we really lurrrrvvvvv them like we said we do or do we say to the friend who gifted us, ‘oh you shouldn’t have!’ and secretly whisper ‘really!’ in our minds.

So what do you do with these gift that you received and have no liking or use for? Do you keep them and add to the clutter that is modern life? Do you wrap them and give them to someone insignificant on an occasion? Are you guilty of giving thoughtless gifts as well? It’s very easy to get up a day before the ‘day’ and pick something off a supermarket shelf – could be a really cheap card and a coffee mug. But if it were obvious that you had not put any thought into the gift then you’d rather not buy one anyway. There is such thing as a bad gift. The thought sometimes doesn’t count. And you might think I’m ungrateful, but seriously what’s the point of someone spending their money on something that I really don’t care for just to honour a gesture on a birthday, anniversary, valentines or Christmas? Just spare us both the pain.

According to my endless Internet research (mostly on howstuffworks.com), a good gift is one that the recipient actually wants but didn’t think they need, couldn’t afford, hasn’t come round to buying or would use if they had it. It has to be beautiful, thoughtful and useful. So, in order to know exactly what to buy, you have to know the recipient. When you spend some time with a person you intend to give a gift soon after, listen to him or her carefully. Chances are they will at a point go on about what they want to buy or would love to have. A lot of the time, gift ideas keep coming at us but we just don’t pay attention. Or better still; ask someone who spends time with the recipient what gift ideas they have. If you are not one for observing and second-guessing go ahead and ask the recipient directly what they’d like for a present. If they claim that they “will love anything you get them” or “only want your company” or “don’t want anything” they are lying. Get them what you know they want through your research and they will love you for it.

So as Valentine’s Day approaches, and you are thinking of chocolates and flowers, please stop and remember that plastic flowers don’t count, cheap chocolate doesn’t count and the lack of imagination is painful! Think day spa vouchers, magazine subscriptions, holidays and jewellery. I say you can never go wrong with jewellery especially as long as if it’s tacky and plastic, it doesn’t count. Be tasteful if nothing else. Think personalised art, IOUs and club memberships. Think of things you can do together as well – the gift that goes both ways (slightly selfish but absolutely rewarding)

I don’t know what your ideas on gifting are but for those thinking of getting me a gift, I think I’ve pretty much made your life easy.

Now I just need to figure out what to do with all the scented candles I’ve received.